Happy Birthday from Africa

Dude. I'm just going to brag for a while.

I have the best husband ever. And best baby ever. But really. Mark is awesome.

This year I had my 24th birthday.

(On the 24th. Is that a thing? Like, 24 on the 24th? Pretty sure it was a big deal.)

But to be honest, I didn't expect much. You kinda stop expecting much to happen on your birthday after like, 16. Cause you're a boring grown up, who cares?

Well, the day before my birthday, I told Mark I was going to need the car to go to an appointment the next day.

And Mark was like, "Uh, no you're not, you have plans."

And I was all, "Uh, no I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No, I don't. You'll be at work, and I'm not doing anything."

And he's all, "Stop pushing it. It's supposed to be a surprise. So just shut it."

So I shut my smiling mouth and let my mind wander to what we might be doing the next day.

My best guess was the zoo. I have a thing for animals. They're the best things ever. They're pretty much our favorite thing. Especially cats.

Anyway.

I had a lousy night sleep wise and felt terrible. Woke up with aches and could barely talk.

But 8am, Mark was up and getting me up and no illness would keep Mark from whatever he had planned for me.

He started dropping hints like, "Do we have sunscreen for Jacob?" "Bring some snacks, we probably won't wanna buy food there." "Dress for sun!"

And at that point I just knew we were going to the zoo.

But Mark kept saying "We're not doing what you think we are."

"How do you know what I think we're doing?"

"You think we're going to the zoo. And we're not."

"....Oh."

"And not SeaWorld, either."

Crap. He guessed my other guess, too!

We went to Denny's cause they have that awesome free breakfast thing on your birthday, and I've kind of been obsessed this year with the concept that I can get free stuff all over the place during my birthday month.

Then we drove.

For an hour.

I started getting a little worried cause I really did feel lousy and achy and sick and didn't want to do something super intense.

I had NO IDEA what we were doing until we drove up to it.

A freaking drive through safari.

Like, a zoo. That comes to my car window.

I literally could not stop smiling. Mark had nailed it.

I didn't even know this place existed. Guys, it was amazing! We broke the rules and fed the animals from our hands. We saw animals I didn't even know existed. Got to touch llamas and zebras and weird horned animals and almost got eaten alive by ostriches.

My hoarse smoker lady voice was screeching the whole while as we drove for over an hour through this giant Texas safari. It was amazing.

And they had this awesome petting zoo literally filled with goats. And baby goats. And pregnant goats. Just so many goats. Being touched. By me. And Mark and Jake. But mostly me.

Then Mark went even further and took me downtown to the Spaghetti Factory. He hates spaghetti. But nonetheless, met my request with a smile on his face, and we ate large amounts of mediocre italian fare.

I love that man. He never ceases to amaze me and make me feel like the luckiest girl alive. I am so blessed to be with a man who goes through such effort to make me feel special.

Can't we all just get along?!

I've been seeing a ton of stuff about that Disneyland measles outbreak. Which totally sucks, I must say.

But I've been mostly seeing hate. Lots of pointing fingers, lots of ignorance (from both sides of the vaccine argument), and it just breaks my heart.

I have friends and family that are on both sides. I know many people who think you're a bad mom if you don't vaccinate. I also know many who think you're a bad mom if you do.

And at the end of the day, ALL WE WANT is for our children to be safe, healthy, and happy.

So why are we hating on everyone's choices?

I don't claim to be an expert either way. I grew up with a mother who was pretty much anti-vaccine, and only gave us what was absolutely necessary to go out in public. And guess what? I was just fine. And I didn't get or pass on any deadly diseases.

I, however, am not anti-vaccine. But I don't like doing them all at once. I've chosen to do an alternate schedule, because I am not comfortable giving my baby a million shots when his little body is still growing and adjusting and that is MY choice. I have given him what I feel is necessary, and will continue giving him different ones at a pace that works for us.

And I don't think that makes me the Anti-Christ. I don't think that makes my child a death-threat at our gym daycare.

And for those of you who fully vaccinate, good for you! And those who don't, good for you!

I guess all I'm saying is, stop the hate. We are all doing that is best for our kids. We don't have to shove it down other people's throats. Calling moms "stupid" because they don't vaccinate is hateful and unfair. Just as I think calling those moms who do every vaccine their doctor says "stupid" is unfair.

And fighting about it doesn't stop diseases or autism or adhd or shingles. It just doesn't.

Cue "Why Can't We Be Friends" theme song.

Boy Meets World.

Remember that show? Boy Meets World? Feen-ay? Fee-hee-heee-HEEE-nay?!

Mark and I just finished the entire series. It was a bittersweet occasion.

We both saw various episodes on Disney channel growing up, but had never really lived through the story or appreciated the show as much as we did this time around.

Guys, did you know how amazing that show is?! They really don't make them like that anymore.

Like, literally, after most episodes, we just sat there and basked in the morals that we were taught.

During the entire series, it is demonstrated how important and essential family life is. Cory grows up in a stable home with a loving mother and father who consistently nurture their marriage. While they have trials in their home, they work things out together, and every family member is better because of it. While on the other side of the spectrum, Shawn grows up in a broken family, and has several behavioral issues and security/trust problems. He is angry at the world and feels like he doesn't belong, and acts out because of it.

But then, it teaches that even when we have hard circumstances, we can, and MUST overcome them. Shawn's potential is repeatedly tested as he battles with his own inner demons, but in the end, he is strong and capable.

Now look at Cory and Topanga. They loved each other, but waited to have sexual relations until marriage. Not JUST sex, but anything besides kissing! How often do we see THAT anymore, especially on tv?! Their marriage is built on trust and respect. I love it.

During the last season when they get married, they are overwhelmed with the responsibilities and challenges of being married young. They move into a dump of an apartment, and desperately seek out help from family and friends. But no one helps them! You know why? Because it is SO IMPORTANT that married couples become their own separate unit, and WORK to make things work. They finally gave in and fixed up their place and made it a million times better, and strengthened their marriage by overcoming that trial instead of letting it tear them apart.

And I won't even go into how amazing Mr. Feeny is. Except to say that we need more educators like him.

The whole show is just full of conservative family values, and teaches that hard work and sacrifice make life more meaningful. It teaches the value of a good education. It teaches that drinking, promiscuity, and anything illegal is wrong. And it is not prudish in the least! Just isn't full of the sleazy filth on most shows these days.

And most importantly, it demonstrates the need for strong, complete families.

We're pretty sad it's over. But it was such a rewarding experience. And I just wish there was more.

Now we're onto Friends, where we will learn... well, that we need to watch less TV.

Overcoming Fears for the New Year.

Tonight I want to share something very personal to me. And I figure it's okay, since the few people who do read this blog care about me enough to not judge me. Or maybe you do judge me. But whatevs.

I've decided on my New Years Resolution for 2015.

It's not losing weight or eating more greens or being a better person. Well, those too, but they aren't my number one.

This year I'm going to overcome my Emetophobia.

Emetophobia is the irrational fear of vomit.

I know, it sounds silly. I mean, no one likes throwing up. But it's a part of life. It happens. And there's a small, rational part of my brain that knows that.

But the other, larger portion of my brain is filled with fear and anxiety in regards to the V word.

It is something I have battled with all my life. It's a sort of panic disorder, but instead of having panic episodes where I'm freaking out over my heart rate or whatever it is that happens to people with normal panic attacks, I start over-analyzing every feeling in my stomach, throat, chest, etc.

It's not like, just a general fear. I'm scared of spiders, the ocean, and serial killers, but none of those things keep me up at night.

I used to lay in bed literally every night, shaking like a leaf, just terrified thinking I could be sick.

If I'm over-exhausted, it sends me into panic mode. Because of that one time that I was so exhausted I got sick.

If I get a cold sweat, it reminds me of that other time I got sick and sends me into panic mode.

If my stomach is the slightest bit upset, if I'm sitting in the mothers lounge and moms start talking about their kids puking at home, or if, heaven forbid, I realized I've been exposed to the dreaded norovirus, I'm in panic mode.

You will never find someone who washes their hands as thoroughly or bleaches their kitchen as much as me after dealing with raw meat. Because heaven forbid we get food poisoning.

I was homeschooled growing up, and then tried going to public school for a little bit in 4th grade. One day a girl came back to class after being out for a week, telling everyone how she was miserably sick with the stomach flu for a few days. The next day I cleaned out my desk and went back to homeschooling.

I had an eating disorder in middle school and my freshman year of high school. I basically only ate enough to get by. I figured the less I ate, the less likely I was to throw up.

And I don't wear turtle necks anymore. You guessed it-- I threw up wearing one that one time.

This irrational fear has controlled my life for far too long. I'm a mother now and need to be ready and able to handle the day that little Jake gets sick. And when he does, I cannot run into the other room, plug my ears, and sing as loud as I can to avoid it (like I did when my pregnant sister came home to visit one time).

I know that faith and fear cannot exist in the same place, so I'm choosing to purge this from my life, and allow my Savior to help me. This year, I am going to study His Atonement, and use it to help me improve my quality of life. I need this to be gone. I need to be free.

And hey, if anyone reading this struggles with anything similar, feel free to message me. I'd love to have/give support in overcoming this or other anxiety issues.

So here's to a new year, a fresh start, and overcoming fears.

Wide asleep.

Right now, I am sitting at the computer (obviously, I'm like, typing this) right next to Jake's room. I can hear him talking. Fussing a little. It's midnight. I just put him down. As in, for the first time tonight.

I don't know what to do!

Honestly, I haven't been stressing about it. I've heard/seen so many situations where parents gave themselves so much stress over getting their baby to bed "on time" every night. Lots of tears, lots of frustration, lots of tension between the parents, and that's not something I want.

So pretty much every night we just hangout. All three of us, chilling till like, 1am.

Is that normal?

It's hard because Mark wants to spend time with him.

"Mark, we should try to get him down."

"He's not tired."

"So? We need to try. We need to get him into a routine."

"But look how happy he is!"

Mark will then proceed to tickle Jake.

And I give up. Because honestly, I love our evenings together. Jake is in such a good mood at night and it's a lot of fun.

However, everything is starting to feel... off.

Like, I get him down sometime between midnight at 2am. He's up at 4. Then he's up when Mark leaves for work. Then I just keep him in bed with me and we fall back asleep until noon.

This has been going on ever since we got back from our trip.

Is it teething? Is he still recovering from travel? Am I just a bad mom who lets her kids party all night and sleep all day? Is he always going to want to do this? Should I just put him in his crib at 8pm and say "Go to sleep. Now." and that be that?

What I would give to go back to the days when he would sleep from 9pm to 7am. Stupid teeth.

That'll do, Pig.

So, Monday morning when Mark was pulling the recycle bin to the curb, he noticed something odd and called me outside.

Our yard was destroyed. Like, just ripped up.

Our first thought was "Who would do this?" We started running through our minds trying to see if we'd done something to tick someone off, and when we couldn't think of anything, we started considering other options.

A cat? No, way too much damage for a cat.

A dog? Maybe, but it'd have to be a big dog. And it doesn't look like something a dog would do.

"You know Mark, the other night when I was driving home from the gym, remember how I almost hit an animal that looked like a big pig? And it ran across the street and joined a big group of what looked like pigs?"

"Wait... that would make sense... look at these markings..."

We noticed as we looked closer that is seemed like tusks had been digging around.

Mark left for work, and then called me a couple minutes later.

"I drove around the neighborhood, and we're not the only ones. Several yards have been dug up, some of them way worse than ours."

Later on I went on a walk and saw what he was talking about. It looked like a scene from a horror movie--lots of pretty yards, and then random spots that were just completely shredded.

I looked closer at the sidewalk and saw little pigs feet markings.

So, basically, we have a wild hog infestation.

WHAT. THE. BLEEP.

I would expect deer. Or even Coyotes. Or heck, wolves.

But pigs? Like, just roaming around? Ruining everyone's lives? Really?

We looked it up and sure enough, Texas is overrun with them, and they are a common nuisance. How we have lived here missing that little fact, I have no clue.

So, yeah. There's that.

Trying my best.

Can I just say I'm glad it's November? Not to hate on Halloween or anything, but for us, it's really just kinda a stepping stone to the good stuff. 

I have been obsessing the past couple months with getting in shape in time for the holidays. I mean, if other moms can be in shape within a few months of having their babies, why can't I? So I've been trying different apps (My Fitness Pal), joined a gym, considered "eating clean" for a week, and before I was pregnant I had experimented with all kinds of fad diets and cleanses. And I think I've finally figured out what works for me. 

It's a little something I like to call "Trying my best." 

It's not a fad diet or an amazing app or a strict calorie-counting regime, but it works for me. 

I exercise now, every day that I can. I joined a gym that is right around the corner, so when I get even just 30 mins free, I can pop over there and be back to feed my baby. And no, I'm not that girl running on the treadmill with sweat dripping all over the place, but I exercise. 

I eat healthy, 90% of the time. My diet consists mostly of homemade hummus, raw veggies, raw fruits, healthy black bean "brownies," protein shakes, and yes, sometimes a frozen pizza gets thrown into the mix. I'm not perfect, but I eat healthy. I'm not vegan or paleo or clean or organic, but I eat healthy. I've also been making an effort to eat more often, in smaller portions, which helps keep my energy up. 

Sometimes I use Smart Balance, and sometimes I use butter. 

Sometimes I use Agave, sometimes Splenda (gasp), and sometimes, only sometimes, good ole' white, processed sugar (double gasp). 

Sometimes I give in and eat way too much way too late at night. 

But I'm trying my best. 

I've realized that it's more important to work on overall health and lifestyle than it is to reach a certain weight goal by a certain time. I want to be in shape and attractive, but I also want to enjoy my life, and heck, even enjoy food. 

So here's to trying my best! 

Oh, and my baby is perfect.