I just realized this is my second post in one day. This is kind of becoming my journal I think. It's WAY easier than writing. Like, with my hand. With a pencil. Who does that anymore?
Anyway, went to Wal-mart tonight, and before we left, I asked Mark if we could stroll through the baby section. I thought it'd make me feel better, you know, like seeing strollers and diapers would remind me that this was all worth it.
I wasn't expecting to burst into tears. Not my proudest Wal-mart moment.
(I wonder if anyone actually has proud moments in wal-mart...)
This is happening. Like, after this long, emotionally draining, physically demanding pregnancy, I will have an infant. A little human. One that we made. One we're responsible for. Like, that's really happening.
It's not just some cute baby at church I get to hold. It's not my sister's cute baby that I can just hand back when it starts crying. It's going to be MY baby.
I have looked forward to having children my whole life. Ask Mark, I've been wanting him to knock me up since we got married, but we both knew we should wait till it felt right. And it felt right, and we got pregnant. So why does it feel so terrifying now?
I know that I'm blessed to have a body capable of doing this. I know that it's going to change our lives for the better. I know that we are going to love that thing to pieces. We might even love it more than our cats. Maybe.
But I just... need a hug.
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