Bathroom Angel

So, as some know, I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes yesterday. It's not the end of the world, and it's only for the next 3 months, but it's a bummer.

I spent all day yesterday rubbing it off like no big deal, convincing myself I didn't really care. Crap happens, and I just gotta deal with it.

Then I went to work. And for some awesome reason, my pregnant mind decided to start caring. I started spiraling.

Could I have prevented it? Is my baby going to be okay? Am I going to be okay? Am I going to have to get induced? Have a C-Section cause my baby is 15 pounds? Is he going to be obese later in life because of me? Am I just too overweight? Am I ever going to like my body again? Why do some women get to look cute and skinny while pregnant? Why can't I be one of those people who doesn't get stretch marks? Why am I showing so much? Why did that lady just ask me if I was due this month or next month? Am I THAT huge?! 

Needless to say, I stopped folding clothes, and hid in the bathroom and had myself a good cry. I prayed for comfort and peace, and finally decided that I should just ask to go home, being the emotional wreck that I was.

I left the stall to go clean my face a little before asking my boss to go home, and just then two other ladies came out of their stalls. Both of them asked me what was wrong, and I laughed and said "hormones." One lady said, "I don't know if you're a praying woman, but I will pray for you. God will take care of you." Then she left the bathroom.

The other lady stayed behind. "Now, what is REALLY the matter honey?"

I told her I just found out I had GD. I don't remember everything she said, but she proceeded to tell me that it wasn't my fault, and that God was in control. She told me how she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes a few weeks earlier, and how it was hard, but we just have to trust in God because He blesses us so much, even if we do have to face trials. Amongst many more words of wisdom, she said something I already knew, but needed to hear: God isn't putting that fear in your heart. 

She gave me a big hug, and left. I will probably never see her again, but I will never forget that encounter. All of a sudden I felt peace and comfort wash over me. God isn't the one filling me with doubts and fears, so why should I give those feelings any attention? I don't have to feel that way. He can take it away.

So I let Him. I washed my face, went back to work, and everything was okay.

So, here's to trusting in Him to be in control.

And here's to making the most of these last three months before I get to meet my sweet boy.