Pregnancy is hard.

I mean, duh. Of course it's not easy. But I was kinda thinking I lucked out. I mean, I made it to 13 weeks without throwing up, or really even feeling that terrible. Sure, there were days when I just wanted to sleep all day. Sure, there were times when I felt nauseated. But I mean... I thought I just lucked out.

Sunday this week, I bragged to my friends and family about how "the worst was over." I felt awesome. Just bubbly, alive, and awesome.

Monday I woke up, ran to the bathroom, and experienced true "morning sickness."

Side note: You know your husband loves you when he insists on sitting with you, rubbing your back, comforting you while you throw up, making the most ungodly noises. He's a trooper.

And then it was over. He went to work. I went to bed.

And then went to go throw up again.

Then it was really over. But I haven't felt the same since. It's wednesday now, and I still feel gross, nauseated, exhausted, and just... meh. I feel like how most women describe morning sickness, except it's my second trimester. I thought this was supposed to be over?

Not to mention my anxiety is at it's peak. Which doesn't make anything better. I should probably mention that all my life I've had a phobia of throwing up, which makes any experience I have throwing up a traumatic experience, to say the least. In my head I know it's not a big deal, but my body still reacts with fear like it used to. Working on that.

All I want to do is lay in bed and sleep. Just sleep through feeling like crap. But aint nobody got time for that.

I don't mean to complain. I am so grateful for this little baby in my belly. And I am grateful for these signs that the baby is healthy, even if it is unpleasant for me. And I'm grateful I lucked out for so long. I have so much to be grateful for.

I just.... bleh.